Uniforms, Dress Codes and Embracing Diverse Identities in Public Schools

It happened again. Some well-intentioned person on a Facebook Group I am a member of in my community posted about how our local district should have school uniforms. I couldn't help but chime in.   I feel them. I get it. The parent is tired of spending large amounts of money every fall on clothes kids outgrow, don't end up wearing, or destroy. They are looking for a cheaper solution and think for a minute that this might be it. However, they are wrong.

 I send two of my three kids to religious schools with dress codes. One school requires specific colors to be worn and many other requirements. The other has modesty requirements, but otherwise, it isn't so defined. On the other hand, my son goes to the school in this district and does not have a uniform or any meaningfully restrictive dress code. 

As a parent, my girls hate their dress codes, and my son loves not having one. However, I understand the dress code for a religious institution as part of what you buy into when choosing that school. It's not something imposed upon a child without their parent's foreknowledge or an option to simply send elsewhere. My issues (which I will spell out below) are clearly with Public Schools with uniforms or restrictive dress codes.

I will define restrictive as anything beyond the basics (nothing see-through, all private parts covered, no flip flops, etc.). Most Public Schools in Bergen County have this non-restrictive dress code. 

To give background and be transparent, two of my kids attend private schools with dress codes, while the other goes to Teaneck Public School without a dress code. I've also been in education for over 20+ years as a teacher and later an administrator. I don't like uniforms that require specific clothes for female students and specific for male students in a non-religious setting. They are tough to fairly enforce without really targeting female students. I also think they reinforce gender roles, often to the detriment of female students. I feel like we are at a unique point in history where we can choose to really be defined by more than our gender, and this takes us a step backward. It has been a massive relief to my son to just be able to put on whatever he wants when he goes to school at BF. I also have yet to find uniformity to be ideal. I want kids to creativity express themselves creatively, and one fundamental way we as adults and humans do that is through clothes. I support not allowing shirts with logos as it comes down to the "haves and have-nots," but beyond that, I really find them to not work.

Additionally, as a parent with a child with autism, I see he has a lot of sensitivity to the textures of clothes. He loves wearing really baggy shorts and pants that are tied by string. Many kids have trouble with buttons. Uniforms don't address diverse sensory differences as well. Most use the French Toast pants that are crunchy and not super soft. My kid already feels different on the inside than everyone else because of his neurodiversity; I really want him to feel comfortable on the outside. We need to embrace diversity of all kinds. Uniforms date from a time period when we wanted everyone to be the same. I love that we all are different, and I want my son to know there is a world out there that will embrace him for his differences as well.

Having seen various policies implemented on the ground in public and private schools, it's just been heartbreaking how people with great intentions really create poor, unintended outcomes. I'd say this is also an issue for children with physical disabilities as some clothes prevent function or simply won't fit or work in wheelchairs or if they have other body shape differences. Furthermore, I'm also concerned when I see dress codes that focus on hair (restricting braids or uncut hair), restrict modesty coverings (hijabs, kippot), etc. So, this could also be an issue that unnecessarily targets many kinds of people. I seriously doubt our district would want to do that. However, the history of uniforms and dress codes really has done just that in many places. Our community is so special. It's our diversity that makes us special. How could we think to squash that?

Furthermore,  uniforms are increasingly utilized in schools with a more diverse student body. I find that particularly troubling because of the history behind uniforms.  Our district would never want to discriminate or squash our incredible diversity in that way. I just don't want us to go down any road that in any way leads to that. I'm so grateful we have people from all walks of life who live here. I'd rather see discussions in communal settings among parents about how to discourage our kids from spending large amounts of money on clothes as something that will help them in life and not judge others about this. Much of that takes us as parents role modeling that for them. 

My kids who go to schools where, for religious reasons, they have a dress code still have kids in their classes who sometimes wear expensive Nike sneakers and Lululemon leggings. I work hard to explain to them that I won't be buying that for them all the time and that we don't value keeping up with the Jones as a family. At the same time, I'm thrilled people in our community can afford that. One of my BFFs growing up went to Catholic School, and she still had this issue despite uniforms. I'm not convinced the issue proponents of uniforms are trying to solve will be solved, and I am convinced it will somehow harm our diversity of expression. 

As a Modern Orthodox Jew, brought up secular in a very divided town where I faced antisemitism and witnessed anti-Muslim and racial hatred, I never want to see people's identities squashed. I already see my kids have enough hurdles to overcome in life because of peoples' biases or misconceptions. I want to build a world where everyone is embraced for who they are and what they bring to the table since we all bring quite a great deal.

As parents and educational administrators, we are responsible for creating inclusive and accommodating policies for all students. While uniforms may seem like a practical solution to the high cost of children's clothing, they have unintended adverse outcomes. As a community, we should strive to create inclusive policies that are accommodating and celebrate diversity.